What does it mean to assert?

It means to outline one’s preferences. But this predisposes the need to identify one’s choices. Most people have trouble asserting themselves, not because they are timid or shy, but because they have not explored their own likes and dislikes.

Although it is true that one always has an idea about what they may want, it is only when they have clarity, distilled to the degree of conviction, they can assert themselves.

So we shall approach assertiveness in the sequence:-

1. Identification.
2. Clarification.
3. Expression.

The first, (identification) entails an exploration of one’s likes and dislikes. A person chooses something only because it is linked to a perceived outcome.

For example, a student may like to pursue Arts instead of conventional disciplines because they want to be identified with empathy, creativity and freedom- characteristics generally associated with Arts.

Therefore, the unconscious draw towards something is always highlighting a need to associate with certain qualities. Any attempt to thwart this natural inclination in favour of something else, suppresses the individual’s authentic expression.

When an individual explores and identifies his natural preferences, they clarify their thoughts. When one is clear about why they want a certain thing, an energy of expression is born within. Hence, assertive expression is always the culmination of clarity.

The degree of assertiveness is directly proportional to the extent of clarity one has about oneself. Therefore, the initial steps (identification, clarification) become crucial for assertive expresion.

Therefore, one need not figure out the choice of words, or methods to assert oneself. A clarified individual is bound to express himself with authenticity, authority and artistry.